October means a lot to many of those in the baby loss community, whether or not any personally significant dates for that family occur in this month.
October is infant loss awareness month, with the 15th being “remembrance day”. So, there are more events, ceremonies, walks, etc. in October than most months. In fact, many hospitals host remembrance ceremonies where they read out names.
Did you know that about 1 of every 4 pregnancies will not result in a living child? And that about 1 of every 25 pregnancies will end in stillbirth?* That’s a lot of affected families.
In fact, I’d like to invite you to participate in the “wave of light”. At 7pm, in your own time zones, at your own locations, light a candle, or two or three, for babies that have died. Keep the candle lit for an hour. That way a wave of candle light will encircle the globe, remembering so many little ones who are loved and missed.
I know many families affected by this type of tragedy. My son is buried near 3 others who died before birth, I know of another handful not far off in the same cemetery, and that doesn’t even include the specific section just for infants.
If you know someone who has lost a pregnancy or very young child, has had a miscarriage, stillbirth, other fetal loss, SIDS death, NICU death, struggles with fertility, or any other way of losing their baby, please send them some love.
If you would like to do something more concrete, I know that many, but not all, families appreciate this. I, personally, love it when someone lets me know that they thought of Charlie. If you want ideas, I’m happy to chat with you. Also, remember that the fathers grieve too, and so do the child’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings… The child was excitedly expected and looked forward to, and loved by many before they were born, and the same people love and miss the little ones… Each in their own way.
Lots of love this month,
Infant loss resource document: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss
*These are commonly quoted statistics in the United States, referring to the United States. At some future point, I plan to have a have a post dedicated to understanding and being exact with statistics like these.