No Motivation, No Get Up and Go
One of the stupidest and most frustrating “symptoms” of grief, for me and in my experience, is when I have days where doing anything seems like so much effort that it’s not worth it. Not quite to the scale of debilitating depression, because I do get out of bed, and get ready, but then I just mope around the house and don’t feel like starting anything.
These days come less and less often. Sometimes they have a reason, like if I was upset the day before, or something is on my mind. But sometimes, if there is a reason, I don’t know what it is.
I will usually still get things done, like maybe doing the dishes, or writing something here, or helping a fellow loss-mama on Facebook, but I don’t do much throughout the day, and usually nothing that involves physical effort, major mental effort, or any sort of decision-making.
What is frustrating, to me, is that I can see that I’m doing it, that I’m not starting anything, that I’m not getting anything done. It’s not a sad day, where I need to take time for myself, either, I just don’t even know what I want. And I can’t figure out what to do that day, either to fill the time or to get myself out of the mopey mood.
Like I said, as time goes on, these days become fewer, for which I am grateful.