10 Dates That Trigger Your Grieving Friend

10 Dates That Trigger Your Grieving Friend
image of calendar with a date circled, and a pop up reminder saying "memory surfacing, acknowledge?" with two buttons to accept or ignore.

Dear friends, This is something you may not know: each month, there is a particular day on which I think of Charlie more. Not that I’m sad, per se, but he’s just on my mind more. It’s the day of the month he was born on – he was born in June 19th, so on

New Years Resolutions

(Topic: Life after loss, grief, holidays) Hi Friends, I’m terrible at New Years Resolutions, and anyway, resolutions work better when you come to them bit by bit and work on them piece by piece. But for fun, and for reflection, here are a few things that I’m currently working on: 1) Be patient with myself,

Support and How I Changed

Support and How I Changed

(Topic: grief after loss support, holidays) Our mantle, stockings, and present area – no tree this year. Hi Friends, This year is different. This is our 4th Christmas after Charlie died, and every year has been different, but this year is really different. For the last 3 years, my reaction to Christmas has been what

Sophia’s Wings walk/fundraiser

(Topic: Memorial walks for infant loss) Hi Friends, This is about something that happened last fall, that for some reason I hadn’t gotten around to writing about. In October, which is PAIL awareness month (Pregnancy And Infant Loss), many organizations hold memorial services or memorial walks, and occasionally fundraisers (and sometimes the walks have minor

Wave of Light, October 15, 2018

(Topic: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2018, wave of light candles) Hi Friends, I want to thank every one of you who lit a candle for a baby that was not your own, especially if you haven’t lost a baby yourself. If you think that one candle doesn’t make a difference, it does –

What can I say? Ideas on how to talk to and help a grieving friend

(topic: loss, grief, communication, helping) Introduction This is a post in my series of posts honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. My goal is for these posts to be shareable – if you are a loss parent, I hope you find this post helpful to share with your friends to help them understand you,

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

(Topic: loss, grief, awareness) What is this Awareness Month? This month is a special one in the USA, but I don’t know if other countries officially observe it. Back in 1988, President Reagan specified October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (Full text of the official declaration at this link). The idea is to

Charlie’s Birthday

(Topic: Grief, Birthday, Anniversaries. Picture-heavy post) Dear Friends, Tuesday was my son Charlie’s birthday, and if he hadn’t died, he would now be 2. Sometimes I tell people that it’s the “anniversary of his birthday”, or that it “would be his birthday”, so they don’t expect him to be alive, but for me, it IS

NILMDTS Walk – Last Request!

Hi Friends, On June 23rd, Hubby and I will be joining NILMDTS on their Ohio Remembrance Walk. For us, this coincides beautifully with Charlie’s birthday, which is just about as perfect as it can get! NILMDTS is the photography organization that takes volunteer professional photographers, and sends them to parents going through a late pregnancy

Mother’s Day 2018

(Topic: Grief vs. holidays) Hi Friends, Today is the day before Mother’s Day, and I’m nervous. I’m nervous about being invisible, I’m nervous about being too visible, I’m nervous about doing it without kids, I’m nervous about crying, I’m nervous about being recognized in church and getting emotional. Invisible, because without a child in tow,